Sunday, 2 August 2009

The Perils of Being a Shrinking Violet

Now anyone who knows me will agree I’m a shrinking violet, of the type to be voted ‘the woman most likely to get the vapors if asked to choose 7 succinct words to sum up all about herself’, so you can imagine my panic at being asked to do just that by Little Brown Dog.

Starting with ‘anxious’ and moving rapidly along to ‘youthful’ maybe stopping briefly at‘stout’ and ‘truthful’ on the way. Alright, maybe not youthful, but it is hard to choose, there are so many that would make an agreeable fit, so I go for the easy way out, but sadly, not the best way to avoid marital strife.

I give him my most winning smile.

ME Sum me up in 7 words, my personality, you know, what I’m like.
(Heart fluttering, this is a man who loves me, who’s known me for years and years. I hope for ‘cultured, calm, sophisticated’, maybe even loveable’.)

HIM (eyeing me skeptically) Hmm! Bossy, Assertive, Indolent, Sensitive, Creative, Reserved and Focused

ME What do you mean BOSSY and ASSERTIVE. You must be joking, Me! Tell me exactly when am I ever ASSERTIVE. Am I ever BOSSY I’d like to know?

HIM (Putting on his cycling shoes) Oh! I don't know. You just are. I’m off out for an hour. (Please remember this is a man who broke his thigh bone only weeks ago while riding like a maniac on his mountain bike.)

ME If you are going on your bike take care and keep to the road, don’t go up on the Downs it’s far too muddy. You’ll come off and this time remember to take your phone. Don’t ride through the village. It’s too risky, they drive like maniacs. And if you’re going past the shop, pick up…

HIM Anything else?

ME Yes I want to know why INDOLENT, why do you say I’m indolent? (I’m on dodgy ground here. I can think of many answers to this one, so I press on quickly before he reminds me, who always makes the tea in the morning, or washes up, or gets up to answer the phone?) And SENSITIVE, am I that sensitive?

HIM (laughing) O.K. perhaps not all the time, but you can be a bit woossy. Perhaps emotional might be better. You get upset easily.

ME Yeh! I GET UPSET ‘COS YOU THINK I’M BOSSY. I can feel the tears pricking at the backs of my eye lids. He knows me so well. Perhaps I am a bit sensitive at times. (I’m thinking sensitive, that’s not too bad and I positively like creative.

ME CREATIVE. Is that ‘cos of my beadmaking , writing and stuff?

HIM (looking at me quizzically), No, not really. The garden, you’re creative in the garden.

ME (I can be creative with the household accounts too. I'm thinking about the two new tops hanging in the wardrobe that he hasn’t seen yet and wondering if I’ve destroyed the receipt. Two for one, I’d call it thrifty though it’s possible HE might have another name)

ME What were the other two. RESERVED, yes I agree with that. As a child I was called shy, but I’m not really. I just like to keep things too myself, sometimes I just can’t be bothered to be more sociable. I’m too idle to make the effort. (Blast - idle/indolent what’s the difference.)

HIM Don't forget focused too. When you start something you go off like a rocket. You can be a bit obsessed. Like all the time you spend on Purple Coo, and writing and your other stuff, um! hobbies.

ME O/K. I’ll accept focused, reserved and creative aren’t too bad, even being sensitive has its good points, but bossy and assertive. You can come up with something better than that, but he didn’t. He escaped out of the door and went off on his bike.


Arosebyanyothername said...

Yes, well, that's why I didn't ask my dearly beloved to find seven things to say about me. I felt that I didn't want to hear them.
I liked your style, though, and I think bossy and assertive are good points to have

ChrisH said...

I think that means you're an independently-minded woman, with a caring nature whom your husband cherishes. But I'd still be waiting behind the door with a slipper when he gets back if I was you!

Frances said...

Loved this bit of dialogue ... is it a true transcript? I defintely think that you are creative!

It's good that your man is well enough to be back on the two wheels, and also good that the two of you really can trade banter. I am thinking of Hepburn and Tracey, and other classic couples.

And, having noticed that before now I had not signed up to follow your posts ... well, I am taking care of that straightaway. xo

lampworkbeader said...

Francis, this is the polite version. Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. Hepburn and Tracey, wow!

Maddie Grigg said...

Best not to have asked, really... I can relate to the creative wardrobe bit. The things Mr Grigg just doesn't know I have. What is it with us girls?

Friko said...

I too asked my Beloved to help with the big seven; a row was averted, but only just.

My, what a lot of writers there are on Purplecoo; I'm so glad I joined.

I don't think bossy and assertive is at all bad, it can't be, it must be good, otherwise where would I be?

I'm sure you have a lovely lifetogether, you and your Beloved, he sounds a peach.

elizabethm said...

Yes, I didn't ask mine fearing just that sort of answer! Lovely piece of writing and I think you sound perfectly balanced!

Brown Dog said...

Sometimes, I'm not sure our other halves are the best people to ask in these situations. I have an idea what mine would come up with and I'm not sure I want to go there (I'm married to a cyclist, too). Yes, I think, like Chris, that exchange shows a creative, sensitive (in a good way) independent woman whom he should consider himself to be fortunate to be married to.

Blimey, is he back on his bike already? He's obviously made of stern stuff.

Very entertaining and enlightening.

Brown Dog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brown Dog said...

(Sorry - just somehow seem to have repeated myself there.)

Pondside said...

Brave woman you are Lampie - and braver husband for venturing to answer that loaded question. I like sensitive, assertive, creative and all those other things. Funny how they're no surprise to your readers!

Faith said...

Oooh I wonder if I dare ask my husband for 7 words to describe me? Enjoyed reading this, Lampie.

Calico Kate said...

Brillinat brilliant brilliant. Loved that conversation!

Sally's Chateau said...

Gosh I wouldn't be brave enough to ask the question !!

Fennie said...

Lampie I did enjoy reading this and sorry that it's taken me so long to get around to it. Guess I must be indolent too!. How we see ourselves, how others see us? Now what adjectives would you have chosen about him? And would he have agreed.

Around My Kitchen Table said...

I wouldn't dare ask my dearly beloved a question like that! I'd like to think he'd use words like witty and warm but fear bossy and batty might figure strongly!

Inthemud said...

Not read any blogs lately, but that was fabulous, so funny! You and your hubby know one another so well!!Wonderful dialogue!

Milla said...

yes, well, be careful what you ask for! I would have been just like you,in fact have been when asking similar stuff. My vain and boastful side wants to linger on the good bits but my, yes, bossy (!) side, carps on about what I would call the rude stuff and he would call teh truth. Men.

Madeleine said...

LOL! You sound exactly like me and my hubby. :O)