My sister would kill me if she knew..

My big sister, who lives in the wilds of North East Scotland, was asked by her local womens' group to write a promotional poem about where they live. Rather tongue in cheek she wrote:

Welcome to rural Scotland
Where mountains are so high
Standing stones and waterfalls
Rainbows in the sky

See our lovely coastline Dolphins in the bay
Castles perched upon the cliff
'Tis life the highland way
Sweetly blooming heather
Grouse upon the moor
You'll get a smile from friendly folk
At every cottage door
Goodbye from rural Scotland
Haste ye back once more

To her surprise it was greeted with much acclaim, but, after a few weeks of very trying weather she wrote the antidote:

Welcome to rural Scotland
Wi' it's midges and wi' bogs
Hurricanes and aeroplanes
And everlasting fogs
If you should come to Scotland
Be sure to bring a mac
Wi' rain and wind and hailstones
Will you be coming back.

(If anyone recognises her style, she loves it there really. Don't tell on me 'cos she's bigger than me.)